he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Randomize