Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
