My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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