You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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