My friends, they love my intelligence
accomplished twins. life is a go
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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