just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
