I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
well you can't waste a boner
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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