dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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