We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize