He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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