Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
