i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
