let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
