You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
