He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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