I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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