I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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