I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize