we made out on top of his cat.
I looked at my own cervix.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
