I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
