I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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