garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
