I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
