whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
