**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize