Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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