shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
