whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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