i don't want you to think of me as your TA
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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