a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
