Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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