Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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