Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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