Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
