I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
