Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
