we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its not stalking. its research.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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