I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
