no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize