we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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