It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize