This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she peed on how many people?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
