I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
