I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
