You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
