Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
