Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
