you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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