stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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