At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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