So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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