You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
