i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It was confusing and full of hummus
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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