porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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