Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
