what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
