Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
