You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
