"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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