i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
