FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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