$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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